she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
