5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
