some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
