I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
