So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
