i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
