Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
