They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
