Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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