Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
