Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
We won't sleep together?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
