Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
