glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize