I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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