A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize