well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
