a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
