I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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