just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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