I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She bit a glass in half.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
