I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
