I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
