Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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