Are we in a gay sports bar?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
why is half of my head shaved?
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