I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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