Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
