No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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