Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
