): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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