It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
