? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
