wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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