It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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