If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
