Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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