Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
