just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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