I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
