I heard we made out
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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