Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
