Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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