If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
