the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he high fived his dick after we had sex
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
