He told me they were just razor bumps!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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