I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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