I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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