Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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