Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
