i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
