New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize