dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
