Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The Olympian is in my bed
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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